Omens hang over my personal universe this week. Overall, it has been a great week. I benefited from a couple huge work related breaks thanks to good friends. I’ve also been writing non-stop, like 14 hrs a day this week and I love it when that happens. So much progress which only speaks well of the future. Those things by themselves constitute favorable omens but something more mundane, innately personal, is occurring.
My ipod touch is dying. This is important to me because it is the last Christmas present my mother ever gave me and as it turns out, the anniversary of her death is shortly after midnight tonight. Three years later and that ipod symbolizes everything . The gift she gave me just a couple weeks before passing away will in all likelihood, itself, leave me on the anniversary of her death.
I’ve hung on to the ipod because it was the LAST gift. I had it inscribed as being from her. Truth is, I needed a new ipod over a year ago. Too much music. Too many apps. The ipod has traveled the planet with me more than once. My mom would appreciate that I have gotten so much use out of it. Still, she would’ve been disappointed probably that I’ve hung on to it for so long. She’d have encouraged me to get a new one and move on. Easier said than done.
The ipod isn’t the only item. Take her van which I inherited. I drove it then gave it to my brother when he suddenly needed a vehicle. I learned over the holidays, he still has it. He’s giving it back to me in a couple weeks and I finally – just this week as fate would have it – asked the family if anyone minded if I traded it in later this year on a car. I’m not a van person but like the ipod, I haven’t been able to bring myself to part with it even though I know my mom wouldn’t have minded.
My mom died from cancer. It wasn’t slow. It certainly wasn’t painless. She was caring and thought well of as demonstrated by the number of people who flew in from all parts of the country to attend her funeral. Friends who have helped me the last couple years know that the last three years can be put in this timeline: a year caring for my mom; a year caring for my dad after my mom passed away; and a year trying to find my bearings again. And now it seems, the omens say the bearings have been found, it is time to push forward.
Everything this week has been like an omen. Employment opportunities couldn’t have been more timely and came from unexpected sources. I just finished a couple writing drafts that have production promise and is some of the best writing I’ve ever done. I found my voice there. The van…. then the ipod dying on the same day as my mom’s death date.
I know these are little items and on the surface carry no special meaning. I’ve always believed though that the universe will speak to you and if you have trouble hearing, it will make the message clear and loud. Run all these events together in a week’s time, and I’d say there’s a message there. Besides, for all the sorrow, regret, emotion that hangs with us when a loved one passes, we aren’t placed in this corner of the universe to stagnate. History only gets written by living the present.