There is a classic rock song where the lyrics go something like ‘it never rains in Southern California but man it pours’. In the last couple weeks this could very well have been a theme song in my circle.
While I sit here mending from the auto accident just over a week ago, I learned that yesterday my young nephew was on a school bus when he started throwing up. He couldn’t stop throwing up. So they took him to the E.R. and that is when doctors noticed his heart beat was all over the place. So they did some tests and called in a cardiologist who basically told the family that he thought the heart was bad.
They’ve run more tests and have decided to keep my nephew in the hospital until Monday when all the results are back. The doctors have prepared the family for the worse of news. Hopefully, it is something fixable. The kid is bright and funny and of all my nieces and nephews probably the most full of life. Needless to say family members like my brother and my dad are extremely worried.
It seems like maybe we should’ve just skipped the month of March and headed straight into April. I don’t know. It is hard to argue with events of the last week though as it is clear some things were meant to happen. For instance, the battery going dead on the truck – which it never did before – put me in a position to be in the wreck. If it hadn’t died, I would’ve already been at the gym. But sometimes, paths are meant to intersect. Sometimes events must occur even when they aren’t favorable and the message remains muddled or unclear. Positive thinking doesn’t prevent the crisis and the universe is a rough frontier that I’m not sure is meant to be tamed. The hard part is trying to interpret the motive of why these events must occur.
It also strikes me, there isn’t a lot of time to ponder the question, ‘why?’. You can get lost in that question, never to find your way out of it again. It can also impede you from dealing with life which will, in spite of events, continue forward. It further occurs to me that when you realize how fragile the structure of your life is, it is easy to picture it all crumbling like dirt between your fingers. We tend to take our work, friends, daily routine, and even health for granted. A quick turn of fortune and the work is less secure, less the cornerstone of our existence, while the daily routine fades away or the friends not so supportive leaving you to wonder why you had cared so much all along.
We delude ourselves, on purpose I think, that we have a measure of control about the course we’re on. It gives us a false sense of purpose and importance. It allows us to wake up every morning and ignore the high-wire act we’re really living. Then when it pours, we’re amazed how quickly it washes away.
Having said that, I do believe the universe is all connected and that the key is not looking at events/universe around us as something we have to work against but more as an element whose surroundings we must manipulate to find our proper place. As you can tell from this post, rainy days create deep thoughts.